Give Up on My Marriage?

Police 2 Pastor” Stephen gets unplugged and REAL as he shares some painful experiences from his own marriage. Stephen and April have been married for almost 20 years, and it wasn’t always a smooth ride.Much of this is found in his book, “Marriage Triage”

Filmed at Crossroads Church Charlotte at a Lift Event (Ladies in Fellowship Together)

My First International Christian Retailers Convention (A Reflection from 2012)

This was written as I was coming back from Orlando after the release of Marriage Triage. It has some of my insights from a different writer’s perspective.

At the time of this post I should be 30,000 feet due south toward Orlando Florida for the ICRS Convention!

Marriage Triage
With the release of Marriage Triage and book signings, it is time for me to rub elbows and ideas with seasoned and talented Christian authors across the country. It is both surreal and sobering as I meet and do interviews with some of the worlds top Christian authors, and do media interviews with the press.

What do I say?

One thing I have been brushing up on is my interview skills by listening to podcast, and advice from well seasoned publicist and my agent (yes I even have an agent) Isn’t that a surprise? I have learned that you can say the wrong thing if you are not careful, and rambling can make the press glaze over. It must have punch, relevance, and conciseness. It also must be catchy, and memorable! It means practicing in front of mirrors, and being conscious of your reactions and expressions. It also means learning to anticipate questions, and even helping your interviewer by providing good questions.

Overall I am both excited to see what God is doing and I pray that Marriage Triage will be a tool used to guide many spouses through the rockiest periods of their marriage.

Where God Has Called Me (A 50 Year Reflection)

by Stephen Goode

Where do I belong?! Many people ask that question in the course of seeking God’s direction for their lives and I was no exception. Family psychology may be the closest secular term for my passion, but I cannot accept most of the secular spin that the field relates to. I worked in partnership with family services for a number of years, but outside of a Biblical framework the efforts only offer a temporary fix to a deeper problem. To understand why I chose this ministry it is important to understand that I never wanted to feel a calling into Biblical counseling.


I spent eleven years as a police officer in Greensboro NC, and remarkably the majority of my time was spent in the homes of families with severe and dysfunctional issues. All of these scenarios had common threads and problems, but the most prominent issue appeared to be what was missing. Many of these families with issues were trying to make their families and marriages successful in a Godless environment. Selfishness reigned in these homes filled with turmoil and violence. After being caught up in the middle of this element for so many years, I made it my primary goal when I left police work to get as far away from this type of environment as possible, but God had other plans. The truth was I had battled with a call to ministry long before I had gone into police work. In 1997 I left law enforcement to enter a computer field with the intent of never going near a domestic disturbance ever again, and at the same time my church was looking for a married couples Sunday school teacher. I began teaching only to notice that God continued to send both singles and couples to me who needed help with issues in their home. Some were related to violence, alcohol, and even drug addiction. Other couples were just living in hollow marriages with the intent of making each other as miserable as possible. There are many other illustrations I could mention, but for the sake of time I will stop there because I think you get the picture. It just seemed that no matter how hard I tried to avoid areas in my life related to counseling, God’s reach could always find me. In summary the reason I have entered Biblical counseling was not out of calling, but because God has dragged me kicking and screaming into this field, and since my desire is to be obedient, I choose to go where God wants me. (I guess you could say I would rathering be pouting with God, than puckering with the devil)

Since I have begun working with families and individuals in the framework of Biblical Counseling, God has turned my heart toward this direction, and burdened me for hurting people. God has taught me that the entry into the inner sanctum of a person’s life is almost always through their hurts and pains. Some may ask what I personally intend to gain from entering this field and my only response is this: The personal gains that I will acquire in this field have become rather irrelevant since I truly want God’s will to be done. Even so, I have had the reward of seeing couples in listless and dead end marriages redirected into God’s plan for their lives. Men with hardened hearts toward their wives have re-engaged and become spiritual heads of their home as God intended them to be. The impact on me has been to see that God desires for all couples to have a Jesus centered family where He is on the throne. I have learned that when I say there is no way, God is saying there is one way through His plan to bring families back together. The only way I know to impact God’s Kingdom is to follow his call. I plan on making that contribution through becoming a Nouthetic Counselor in the local church and potentially starting a new ministry under the umbrella of the local church ministering through counseling and Biblical direction. Now that you know my abbreviated story, what’s yours? Are you a runner, avoider or have you surrendered to God’s call on our life? Don’t waste another day avoiding God’s call, but run to Him and seek his will and direction in your life.

A Thought on God’s General Revelation to us (Rom 1:18-19)

by Stephen Goode

Just because there was a time Helen Keller didn’t understand water, didn’t make it any less real. Just because people don’t see or acknowledge God at work doesn’t mean he isn’t working. To the insensitive, “a sky” and they say “so what.” To those sensitive to the hand of God even the smallest natural functions are gazed upon with wonder.

Recently a person spoke to me of how they saw the numerous little ways God was working in their life and how awesome it was! I pray that we would all train our spiritual ears and eyes to be sensitive to the hand of God in the valley moments as well as the mountain top moments.

Arrogance Breeds Blindness

by Stephen Goode

I recently conversed with a gentleman that by all measures was the most arrogant person I have ever encountered. Add in my years in police work, and ministry and this is a very significant trophy. As I conversed with this gentleman,there appeared to be a complete absence of the ability to see fault or to own any personal failures. At one point in the conversation I asked the person if they had EVER done anything wrong, and the question was avoided by asking me the same question.

My response to the question of whether I had ever done anything wrong or failed was “absolutely!” Many times!

The Blindness of Arrogance

What you need to realize is that when there is a strong presence of arrogance, and a total absence of humility, there will always be a blindness to a persons own faults and failures.

The Response to Arrogance

As I left the conversation with the arrogant person my first thought was to say “I am glad I am not like that,” but then a different response overwhelmed me.

My response was to ask the following questions.

1. In what ways am I arrogant?
2. In what area of my life do I show a total absence of humility?

These questions led me to realize that my response to unadulterated arrogance isn’t to be MORE arrogant, but to be more reflective. It also led me to a place where I didn’t feel offended and attacked, but I began to have a great deal of pity and brokeness for this “blindly arrogant” man.

What I can Change

Since this very arrogant confrontation,I have been more aware of my responses to those around me. I have basically began to audit my own responses to everyone around me, especially my family. I truly believe satan wanted me to act like the pharisee who prayed “thank you that I am not like them”, but God taught me that in many ways I am like them. All of us have a heart capable of many evil actions. (Jer 17:9)

Have Humility

Humility is one of the most refreshing qualities a person can practice. It means never wearing your feelings on your shoulders or being too sensitive to every little comment that is made. It means being able to listen without motive or angle. Humility will build incredibly strong compassion muscles in your spirit.

Take an inventory of your life and see where this leads you.

Convenience Driven Parenting

Convenience Driven Parenting Trumpet for God Ministries

Link to Audio. Are you a parent who is so stressed about daily affairs, deadlines and hobbies in your life that you are neglecting one of your most precious gifts God has ever given you? The blessings from the Lord in the form of our sons and daughters? Are you a dad who is successful in the eyes of the world and yet you feel like a failure as a parent? I don’t separate convenient parents from hard working business parents because the result is still the same. The children tend to feel like more of an inconvenient burden, than a blessing to you.